ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
