It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
