where am i from again
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
