Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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