you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
