The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
