K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
