Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
