we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
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She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
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I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I am one with the molecules
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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