Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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