It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
