I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I could have mohawked her pubes.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
