if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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