Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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