just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
