We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
operation harelip BJ is a go
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
