Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
please come you make the beer taste better
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
NoShamevember. You game?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
