i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Fuck appropriateness.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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