she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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