why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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