My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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