He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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