and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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