This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
