Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
