i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
