It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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