I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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