what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
