I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
