Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
PANTIES FOUND
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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