We're facebook friends in real life
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
