big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
