I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
