My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
