I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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