Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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