I CAN MOONWALK!
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
