In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
