in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
