i think i have two assholes
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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