So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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