She's JV to your varsity
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
