Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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