WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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