I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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