She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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