Small penises have feelings too.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
