I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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