So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
