The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
