Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
