my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
