Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
