It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize