I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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