Banned from zoo.
Again?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
do herpes really smell.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
