Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
