If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
