Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
