hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
